I decided to take the kids to the mall to play. I needed to pick up a little gift for a baby shower, so kill 2 birds with one stone right?
Well I got to the mall before they opened at 9:30 while all the fun cute little snow birds are still there walking the mall for exercise. So the first little couple passes me and I smile, they nod and smile, the second set stops and pats Corwin on the head making a comment about how cute he is. At this point a little twinge in my heart reminding me how much I miss my Mom and Dad.
So we make it to the little play center and I look up and on the second story is the cutest little couple so far, the man has his arm around his wife and they are looking over the railing adoring and talking about all the cute little kids. I bite my lip to stop myself from crying, then in comes one, two, then Three couples to sit and watch the kids. Two sets have a couple grand kids in tow. And I couldn't help it. I started crying, in front of all these people I don't know.
I felt like a 30 year old orphan who's kids are seriously Gypped out of grandparents. Mom and Dad were the best grandparents, always reading books, a sitting just to rock or hold the kids.
GRRRRR Why! Why do some people get to have parents until they are old themselves, while I have none, and no Grandma's and Grandpa's to spoil my babies.
I hate sounding bitter. I'm grateful for the years that I did have with them. I'm just sad today for some reason. More so than usual.
17 comments:
I miss them so much too baby, they were awesome parents and grandparents and always treating me with respect and love and kindness.
I learned a lot from them and their example. Whether it was when they were on missions, or working in the yard, or fixing something, moving a couch or piano.
Magic kisses doll.
Its ok to feel the way you feel, and miss them. It is so not fair!
They were and always will be the best grandparents ever! And as far as parents go, It was so nice to be able to call them mom and dad from time to time, and to have your daddy say I was one of his girls! They both had a way to make everyone feel so special, and loved! Thanks for sharing them and allowing me to have a bit of what you had with them!
No one will ever know what you are going through except you, cuz you are the only one living your life!
Its ok and even healthy to cry sometimes! I love you!
I know how you feel, too an extent. I have both my parents, but I live so far away from both of them, that they dont get to spoil them. I go and see my dad maybe once a year, but Favortizim is used terribly bad against my kids. And when my mom comes once every 3 years or so, she does the favortisim too, but makes an attempt to spoil them, but her health keeps her from seeing them on a regular basis. I cant imagine how you felt today, but I have been down that road too. Wishing I lived closer to my family, well my mom anyways. Come back to Indiana, and I will spoil your babe's.....I love you and your family so much, like you are my sister and they are my nephews and nieces. I am always here for you hun. ALWAYS. Miss you lots, Keep your chin up, you are a wonderful mother~WONDERFUL mother, and I know that you and Dan are so close, and great parents, and I see it in your kids...I wish I had your ability with babies. I Never had grandparents that treated me nice, I was always a burden, punished because they didn't like my father. So It's ok babe..you have alot of friends and FAMILY to love you and your family. Hugs to you.
Rach,
The grieving process is limitless, so don't apologize for feeling sad and missing your mom and dad. They were awesome. I love your mom and dad. You could tell that they were IN LOVE BIG TIME!! Some days are better than others, but it is okay no matter what!!
Luv ya,
Cami
dont make me cry! they were like grandparents to me. your mom was such an incredible woman. and i loved your dad. you are so lucky to be an extension of them. you are just as incredible as your mom! remember that. i have and always will admire your family, all of you oakes are such an example to me.
i know life does not seem fair sometimes and it really bites! i am sorry you were feeling sad yesterday...and sorry if i came off as a brat at the shower. see, i'm such a dork! i love you, rach!
Hey friend, I don't know what it feels like to lose both parents but I know what it's like to lose one. :(
I'm sorry you were having such a rough day...and you still managed to step outside of your own sadness and come to the hospital for Aaron. You rock to be able to manage that. And I ain't even gonna get into all you did the NEXT DAY. Sheesh.
Anyway, hang in there. I know your parents are watching and loving your babies still. I love and admire both of them so much.
Anyway,
sorry there was an extra "anyway" in that comment.
So yah..anyway...lol
well now i really wish that we would have come down there when you asked me... :( sorry!
BUT..even though i actually DID finally grow up, your dad STILL had to tell me the same thing!!--is that the little girl that followed her brother over here in her diapers????? AND he never ever called me diane--it was always DIANA! and i loved watching him kick back enjoying a pepsi from QT... can old people do that?????
Rach,
I love you. *Hugs*
Hugs Rachelle! I lost both my parents & my grandmother when I was in my 20's, which was a long time ago! You will never stop missing them. My mother has been gone for 37 1/2 years now & I still cried for her recently...at her grave & a little envious that she gets to be with my Ronnie again while I have to wait. She loved him & he loved her back. At least they are in good company & catching up. Point is, don't even try to bury those emotions. Cry when you need to, no matter how old you get to be. We never have our loved ones with us long enough. Rhonda & her siblings didn't grow up having a loving grandmother that my mother would have been to them. I felt gypped too, for myself as well as for my children. I had to take solace in knowing that she got to love & play with them before they came to us. I totally understand your loss and regrets not only for yourself but your children too. It's good they at least knew them for a short time & have memories of them...keep those memories alive for all of you. The realization of being an orphan, even as an adult, can really slam you. I always heard such wonderful things about your parents from Rhonda. She thinks so highly of them and loves & misses them. Oooops...I just saw she said the same thing. Well I just confirmed it! lol You're a great person and you do your parents proud. If you ever need an extra shoulder, feel free to get in touch with me.
Hi Rachel,
Your post really touched my heart today. Even though our ward split when we were young teenagers, I still remember them well. Your Mom was always so warm and loving and your Dad was too. I'm so sorry for your loss! They raised such a beautiful, sweet woman who I know just by reading your blog, is an awesome Wife and Mother!
Love,
Heather
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